“He’s a famous philanthropist and we need to set a new USM standard for hospitality.”

Of course, I laughed. Of course, I looked like a jackass. At that moment, I had a very important decision to make regarding how I want to be viewed by this person for the rest of the time I work here. To not explain myself at all would simply make me look like a fool who can’t be trusted to greet important clients. To explain would make me look like a pervert who condones animal abuse.

You see, I can’t hear philanthropist without automatically translating it in my head to “full-on rapist.”
And I can’t hear hospitality without automatically translating it to “horse brutality.”

“He’s a famous full-on rapist and we need to set a new USM standard for horse brutality.”

I didn’t bother explaining. I looked like a grinning fool, but not a pervert who condones animal abuse.

That’s my day so far.